A pastor once asked a class I was in, "would you rather visit a new town everyday, never being able to revisit one; or would you rather stay in the same place your entire life, never being able to visit a new one?" When he first asked I answered a "new city" in my head without hesitation, and up until recently when I would think about that question I still leaned with that same response, but these past few months I hesitate. Now, fast-forward to today, I firmly would answer, "stay in the same place." It's silly, but that pithy question has revealed a lot about my heart and taught me quite a bit of God's creative engineering for us to be as faithful to our neighborhoods as we are to our marriages--to live like a local instead of a tourist.
There's no doubt that God, as a creative designer, is anything less than impressive, it's something I've always loved, but now having boys who enjoy watching shows and youtube clips of wildlife, it makes me stare into his creative thinking deeper. For example, something as simple as our yard, which we like to have, because it's aesthetically pleasing, kids can play outside on it, it's cleaner than having a field of dirt, it's like carpet for our outside; all the reasons we want it and take care of it are very basic, but they're all driven by selfish wants, not that it's anything bad, we just want a yard, because it's nice, so we get one. However, because of those personal motivations we are actually helping create an ecosystem; we are unintentionally providing a lifesource for so many animals: the rabbit can come in the morning and nibble on some of the grass, the birds can fly around and feed on the insects that have made a home in our yard, bees fly in to drink the dew before they begin pollinating. Without even trying we've contributed to and cultivated part of God's invention out of something we wanted for our own pleasure. And this little, elementary example reveals a lot about God's creative geniusness and how he brings to fruition his blueprint for creation, including neighborhoods.
First off, is there a point in being faithful to a neighborhood? The best way to answer that question is to examine marriage, one of God's most unique inventions. Marriage is worth looking at, because it's designed for us to love and serve 1 person when our desires are constantly driving us to want multiple. Whether you're someone that gets around and you are doing everything in your power to keep yourself from getting "locked down," or you're in a committed relationship and you sneakingly still get around, or you just jump from relationship to relationship, or you're in an open relationship, regardless, the act of serving and staying with 1 is tough; even "innocently" flirting counts as struggling with being faithful. In our nature, it is not easy to stay with the same person for the rest of our life (faithfully), but God would not have designed it this way unless there was something purposeful to gain from it. His plan for marriage is, of course, very intricate with a ton of purpose and meaning, but there's one cause and effect that I want to focus on.
A lot of us who struggle or have struggled with staying in a committed relationship did so, because we'd rather be a tourist than a resident; we got bored with working at it or there was something new that grabbed our attention and acting out on our curiosity disqualified us as being faithful. But, again, why should we care about achieving something as mundane as faithfulness? Because, unfortunately, despite all the company we think we're getting when we're pursuing more than one person, we're actually alone (and, of course, we have to give thanks to the grace of God that he can reinstate us!) A human being has to feel connected to feel real, and we get there by knowing we're cared about; I want to avoid the obvious, but I have to say it: the more time we spend with multiple partners means the less time we're connecting with someone. It's funny how contrary that reality is from what sounds logical; we'd think the more connections we have the more fulfill we would be, but God has chosen quality over quantity to be the key for relationships. This is because our souls are deep and he has buried answers to our questions about who we are way down there. The same can go for our communities.
God has made each of us with so much depth, that it certainly will take a life time to fully understand everything in us, but the kicker is you need someone else's help. And that other person is going to dig up dreams and passions you yourself didn't know existed and some ugly stuff that we conveniently look pass. But that's where his design and all of its awesome cause and effects come in: if we faithfully stay with one person we will become real, full of substance, intimately recognized. We won't be a person walking around the earth who is only known by a name and some surfacey fun fact or our job; we will be tattooed on someone's mind and heart, forever living a life where someone actually knows and likes us--more than we like ourselves. But the best part is you'll have your heart and mind tattooed with that same person. Never, ever alone again.
And through us trying to satisfy a self-focused desire to not be alone, but have true company, part of God's blueprint for us will come to fruition. Through this faithful relationship God will form us into the person he first imagined when he was creating us. He will also form our partner into the person he's always imagined through our commitment to them. And, lastly, the relationship itself, the invisible bond, a connection made up of so much heart, will also take the shape God has been waiting for--a force, like a magnet or gravity, that will impact others around them for the kingdom.
We can also see the need for faithfulness in regards to friendships; even though, when we think about making friends, we feel the more the merrier, or at least that's how I looked at it. However, Proverbs 18:24 says, "a person of many friends will come to ruin, but there is one who sticks closer than a brother." So in our world that preaches popularity and the ones with a lot of friends are cool and successful people, the Bible suggests that "a person with many friends will come to ruin," why?
I believe it goes back to being deeply known by a few vs the surface being known by many. Someone who isn't tightly bound to a few friends, but instead loosely connected to many for popularity's sake, that person will sink when they go through a moment that can't be cured by simply being distracted with "friends." During those life moments we need the ones who know us well enough to encourage, give us counsel, or comfort us the way we uniquely require, the way that only they would know. And those relationships won't exist without a level of commitment and faithfulness; in those moments when we need to be served and loved on, a surfacey friend with all the right intentions won't be able to do it and, vice versa, we won't be able to serve and love friends that we don't know that well. And part of God's hidden fruit from these friendships is we ourselves are shaped and the world around us begins to bear our impressions.
God has designated faithfulness to be a vital aspect of being human, because of how it forms us and the place around us; it doesn't only belong to relationships, but to every area of our lives: work, studies, our craft, health, church, and where we live. That yard that we enjoy came to exist and have an impact on the world around it, simply because of our initial desire for it, but unless we faithfully work to keep it up, it will wither, along with its cultivated ecosystem. Same with our relationships.
The same goes for neighborhoods.
I'm not saying that anyone has to be involved in their neighborhood, but I do think it has its benefits, because our neighborhoods depend on us being faithful similar to our marriage, our group of friends, or our church. They need us to be residents, not tourists. The same way you start to learn the flaws of your partner and friends, we'll start to see the detailed flaws of our community; and if we truly commit ourselves to the place we live, then we'll learn the ways to address and improve on those flaws.
That simple traveling question asked by the pastor really packs more weight than I cared to admit when I 1st heard it; there's a reason most of us on this planet couldn't actually travel to a new city every day. God has engineered our way of living with the intent that we stay where we are and, yes, a lot of us will move for a number of reasons, but even when we move to a new place we're spending a good amount of time there. He has designed us to be local.
I'm not making an argument for everyone to commit their entire free time to the same restaurants, grocery stores, retailers, bars, green space, or whatever your neighborhood offers, because it's fun to explore. And not everyone can get involved the same way and not to mention every community has its own need, but there is something to the idea of loving where you live; and "loving" as in the same context as a faithful relationship.
The beauty of God's redemptive design is it's something we can enjoy doing, because creation is supposed to be enjoyed. His subtle blueprint plans come to fruition by us simply liking something, whether it's a yard, a girl or guy we think is attractive, a person we end up getting along with, a job we have fun doing, or a restaurant we visited for the time and want to return. These initial wants is what turns into a long lasting commitment that shapes us and his creation around us. All we have to do is keep enjoying it and eventually we won't be tourists anymore, but we can actually contribute to it; because God has made it for humans to be regulars, not just visitors.
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